Why It's Important To Dress the Body You Have Now
My background is in Nutrition and Fitness, but three years ago, style became a MAJOR player in the confidence game. I did LuLaRoe and saw the importance of dressing the body you have right NOW. I saw women rocking so much confidence in every body type because of these clothes. It was like magic! I have spent the last three years learning about and doing Personal Styling sessions with women and it has been amazing to see the transformation!
It’s important to dress the body you have right now because it helps you feel more confident on the outside so you can work on feeling confident on the inside. Having clothes you love can be the bridge to help you enter into a whole new way of seeing yourself and your body. It’s a base level of self-care and a necessity for living each day. Dressing up is showing up, and I don’t mean fancy clothes or perfectly accessorized outfits.
It’s about loving yourself enough to dress in a way that makes you feel empowered, attractive and confident (even if you don’t feel that way on the inside- you’ll get there!). When you deny yourself this basic way of caring for yourself, you affirm that you are not good enough as you are in the body you have. We’re going to talk about body acceptance in a little bit, but first, let’s hear what you have to say!
As a Personal Stylist and Confidence Coach, I hear all the objections to why you can’t or don’t want to dress your body.
-I don’t know what my personal style is.
-I don’t have anything that fits right. I am in a style slump.
-I need to lose weight first.
-All my clothes are outdated.
-I am waiting to fit into my “before/after” clothes.
-I don’t have money for new clothes.
-I don’t know how to put together outfits.
-I don’t know how to dress for my body type.
-I’m too tired to dress up.
-I just want to be comfortable.
I want to tackle each one of these and then walk you through how to clear the emotional weight of clothes that aren’t serving you or helping you to feel your most confident and best self.
-I don’t know what my personal style is, I am in a style slump, I don’t know how to dress for my body type, I don’t know how to put outfits together.
This is super common, especially after big life transitions. You can start with your personal preferences. What kind of fabric, colors, prints, styles, or patterns do you like? You can find inspiration in a magazine or on Pinterest (just make sure it doesn’t trigger body image issues). Still stumped? Colors like teal and plum are universally flattering. Avoid black, white, gray, beige or brown. Go to the mall and see what is currently in style and see what speaks to you.
You can also do a Personal Styling Session to help expand your style container. I love doing these free sessions at the body positive boutique, Mary Rose NW Boutique, owned by my girl Julie Allen. She and I are hosting the Reveal Retreat together! She fills her shop with incredibly soft, flattering and affordable pieces.
-I don’t have anything that fits right, I need to lose weight first.
By waiting to dress your body as it is right now, you are actively affirming that you are not worthy of good things or things you like. You are denying yourself self-care on the most foundational level. You silently affirm every single day that your body is not worth looking stylish or put together. That you are not acceptable at this size. That others will judge what you wear.
#RealTalk- What if you never lose the weight you are waiting to lose so you can dress the way you want?
What if you do lose it, then gain it back? (and 99% of dieters do)
What are you missing out on by waiting?
in episode 42, 40 reasons why losing weight is hard, I break down for you why it’s so dang hard to lose weight and what you can do instead.
Enter, Body Acceptance. When I say that, what comes up for you? For a lot of women I have talked to, I hear:
That body acceptance = liking my body, which is NOT going to happen.
Acceptance is NOT the same as liking. Acceptance is recognizing the good and the bad and not doing anything to change it. You can take it moment by moment, day by day or even meal by meal. By accepting your body, you release the hostility toward a part of yourself. You begin to allow for the possibility of actually someday moving from neutrality about your body into appreciation of it.
I will be out of control and gain a ton of weight or eat all the things.
This fear is a very valid feeling and reaction- but it’s just that. A reaction. When we react, we shortchange ourselves on really going deeper into our feelings and understanding what fears and feelings we have by reacting to them. When you respond, you take time to sit with the feelings that come up as a result of moving into acceptance, you do not feel out of control.
You may experience a temporary rush of freedom at the idea of being able to eat whatever you want or not feel like you “have to” exercise. Maybe. Or, instead, you find a peace and contentment that comes from freeing up all the energy you used to avoid acceptance. This feeling is like someone lifted a weight from your shoulders that you didn’t even realize you were carrying. You find yourself more compassionate toward yourself and others.
That I will let myself go.
Wha does it mean to let yourself go? How is that different from where you are now? What are you comparing yourself to? Define what it looks like so you see how close you’re getting to that and what feelings come up as a result.
-I am waiting to fit into my “before/after” clothes.
This one is hard. It’s hard to accept our body the way it is as we age. As things shift, droop, hang and swing differently. Pop culture will tell you to hang onto your “skinny jeans” or smaller clothes as motivation to stick to your weight loss diet. But instead of providing motivation, it delivers guilt and shame. You feel like there is something wrong with you because you can’t seem to force your body to look the way you want. You feel bad for not sticking to your workout plan or weight loss regimen. If you just had more discipline, will power or motivation, you could do it.
When I do Closet Clean Out Sessions, I always ask if there are any “skinny clothes”. We thank them for being wonderful at one point in time and then release them to bless someone else. It is amazing to see what releasing this weight does! Your closet is no longer a reminder of what a failure you are! Instead, your closet becomes a safe haven where you find pieces that you like and are looking forward to putting on. Where you have clothes that help you feel confident on the outside so you can work on the inside.
-I just want to be comfortable.
Stylish is not the antithesis of comfort. You can be dead comfy and stylish at the same time.You have to ask yourself what “comfortable” means. Does it mean hiding parts of your body? Does it mean wearing stretchy clothing? Does it mean layering? Define what comfortable looks and feels like so you can look for pieces that achieve both comfort and style.
-I’m too tired to dress up.
I hear ya, sister. Life is crazy and busy, especially this time of year. Try reframing it this way- Even though I feel tired, I make dressing my body a priority. This could look like choosing your clothes the night before. It can also mean that you have too many choices and that you need to do a closet clean out or seasonalize your closet. Too many choices can create overwhelm and make you not want to put forth the effort. But it matters, friend.
-I don’t have money for new clothes.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have new clothes. Go through your closet and pull out ill fitting, outdated, worn or faded items. Toss what you can and make a list of what you need. When you shop, look for only what you need and don’t buy things just because they are on sale, unless they’re on your list. You can also host a naked clothing swap and trade your clothes. I love resale or consignment shopping where you can sell your clothes (that are in good shape) and buy other used and new clothes. Remember, it’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. Invest in pieces that will last you a long time (shoes, sweaters, jeans, jackets, blouses) and find cheaper daily pieces like tanks, tees, shorts, hoodies etc.
You can also accessorize your clothes as a way to spice things up! Use a scarf to add layers and dimension. Jewelry can really dress up a simple outfit. Hats and beanies can be a fun way to not only mask unwashed hair, but also add a fun twist on an outfit. Belts can can be worn on your waist or hips to create curves and really pull an outfit together. I buy all my belts at Goodwill!
How you dress is important. It matters. YOU matter.
Your clothes are not just something to hide your body or yourself. They are a way to boost your confidence, celebrate your personality and open yourself up to new opportunities! You are worthy of dressing your body as it is RIGHT NOW. Not X number of pounds from now.
Stop hiding, friend. Let your body be a celebration of your personality and creativity!
Be sure to check out the Captivatingly Confident Podcast to listen to the 2-part podcast series based on this article!